This is an amazing topic, overwhelm! What is overwhelming in my life? I equate it with stress or pressure. It shows up with work situations, when time seems to be too short, when I don’t know how, when last minute changes interrupt a scheduled event to name a few. Even as I write this I have a reaction to these. My shoulders get tight and I have a sense I take short breaths and my mind starts to race with how and when.
My response is I have to stop, drop, and roll to fix it now and quickly. Well, I got the stop part right. My brain was running with a story that all these things needed to get done now and I needed to drop everything and roll into action that someone fix it. I discovered I have this dialogue or story I was making up in my head. It’s just not at work, it shows up in other areas when I am wanting to do a project that I am wanting to volunteer and support.
I have started to notice people telling me they are so overwhelmed. I kept asking myself, “why am I just now noticing how many times in a day people say this word?” It’s like when you buy a new car and now you see all the cars on the road that are your make and model. I wanted to know what other people were experiencing. What I noticed was we shared overwhelms.
It was like a competition, I have more than you. Like there is some badge we receive for how much we have and can carry. That really made me stop and look at what I have been telling myself about overwhelm. It may have been a learned habit from watching my mom. She was a wife, mother of five children, business woman, community organization member, and all about family. We didn’t grow up around any family members from either side of my parents, so it was really just my mom or dad. She was masterful with organization and getting things done. She didn’t share with us kids what she did during the day while we were at school. Or what she did at night while we were asleep. What did occur were her actions and words. Busy! Maybe once in a while overwhelm when frustration was there with something we did to interrupt the flow of work at home.
For me I discovered a habit that I created from watching my Mom, that the busier I looked or sounded, it would mean I’m good at my job. I was bragging about my being busy to get attention. I created stress on myself most of the time, versus the job, my family or other committees. What a surprise. I had it that other people or situations left me overwhelmed.
So, if I created this overwhelm in the first place, I must be able to uncreate it, right? It is more like now, I have to unlearn a few years of a habit that is very good at being that way. This is where knowing a bit about brain science has been a blessing for me. Now I know the science is great, but it makes no difference if I don’t practice changing my brain patterns. There are tools to use, it takes awareness. In simple terms it takes my stopping to notice what I tell myself all the time.
Our brains run on automatic. The brain is a very efficient machine. So, I needed to just stop and notice. That is a practice! I say so much to myself and I’m starting to notice more as I hear others saying the word. I can then shift my thoughts to a question and not go to my normal automatic way I respond or react to situations in the past. I have shifted from being overwhelmed in just moments rather than carry it for days. I am excited to see my results as i keep practicing.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to deal with overwhelm or want to join a community of women that are all up to great things in their life, considering joining the #Newyou Facebook Group! We offer free life coaching, I think it will be a great resource for you in your journey.
Click to Join: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2413370312279730/
GAIL
